Seeking to “look good” to others often distorts our behavior, and not in good ways.
I heard a tale of school-aged twin sisters, one popular, one not. They both knew their Shakespeare from home. If teacher would ask a question to do with Shakespeare, the popular one who very much knew the answer wouldn’t raise her arm to answer. She wouldn’t want doing so to appear too bookish, too smart to the other kids who thought she was cool and relatable. The other sister had no such concern and would raise her hand freely.
Being caught up in the game of looking good to others finds us slavishly molding our behaviors to what we think others expect, posturing this way or that contrary to our true selves, or putting up a flimsy façade that is obviously inauthentic.
Yet there are some ways in which the desire to look good for another can really work in the context of a caring coaching relationship.
Coaches, there are some powerful ways to look good to your clients. It’s not by showcasing how great your life is, or how many important clients you’ve coached, or how many certifications you have, or any other sort of virtue signaling.
You know what looks good to your clients? You being a genius, in their world and really getting and being aware of where they’re at and what they’re dealing with.
Look good to your clients for the right reason: it builds confidence, a feeling that they’re handled with you.
And if you really want to do well by your clients, harness the power of their desire to look good to you.
