I heard the phrase “powerfully related to reality” thrown about during my early exploits in the coaching world. It was spoken by my coaches, during conversations about what was possible and for creating futures worth living into.
It’s a pretty abstract phrase, right? I didn’t fully understand it at the time, and I was certainly was unaware of its implications. But this concept forms another pillar of the magic you as coach can provide to us clients. So it’s worth understanding, so that you can give us that magic deliberately and consistency, rather than accidentally and occasionally.
Being powerfully related to reality means having an internal model and perception of the world that is consistent with how the world actually is.
When we’re talking with you, sharing whatever it is we’re sharing, that is your opportunity to be listening for how related to reality what we’re saying actually is.
Here are three examples.
If we’re in a slump, mired in self-talk that amounts to thinking we’re utterly incapable pieces of garbage? You probably know a thing our two about is that contradicts that notion, so that’s us sliding into unreality. Call us on it and bring us back.
If we’re super excited making bold plans that ring as lofty and admirable, yes, but at the same time impractical and unrealistic? Well we might be chasing pie in the sky, getting ourselves lost in a fantasy land that will take a large toll on our confidence when it ends up falling short or going nowhere. You can point out as much and see if we’re really committed to what that’s apt to take, and guide us back to a realistic place with a clear and plausible plan to move forward.
If we’re clear so-and-so could be instrumental to our success but nah, they’d never go for it? You know, putting the “no” in someone’s mouth to spare us the inconvenience of actually asking? Well, we’re making things up that we don’t know and risking sliding into assumptions that aren’t true. You can point that out and challenge us to have the scary conversation in order to actually find out.
In all of these, when you hear us dipping into unreality (generalizations, wishful thinking, assumptions), you have the opportunity to surface that that is happening in the moment, and give us the opportunity to both recognize it and correct it.
Sometimes reality is harsh, and so sometimes it’s more comfortable to dwell in simplistic, self-justifying, and/or rosy unreality. But the power to effectively act is proportional to how accurately you perceive that which you are acting on.
As our committed listener, you help us by keeping us powerfully related to reality.
When it comes to tracking with accrued accomplishments the Actions and Session Notes that are naturally created over time in a coaching relationship serve as a clear record of the past, how things are unfolding, and a tidy retrospective picture of what the client is generally capable of.
