I was talking with a friend who both has a few coaching certifications and recently became a licensed therapist. She made an elegant argument that, when coaching, it is difficult to NOT have that coaching tread into territory that is more the stuff of talk therapy. When discussing matters of ambitions, motivation and meaningfully playing the game of life (with all its ups and downs), sooner or later matters of personal psychology are bound to arise as relevant to the conversation. Deeply held beliefs, triggered feelings, questionably helpful associations and more all routinely invite inquiries into “why I am this way?”, and/or “how to change this or that aspect of me?”.
And you as coach are right there, already a trusted, committed listener, teetering on these topics that are just beneath t he surface (or outright in the open!) as you do your routine coaching thing.
Who could fault you for giving space to let the conversation take on a sort of psychotherapeutic lilt, especially if that’s what your client seems to be needing or wanting? The client’s desire practically creates a gravitational pull that needs to be resisted to avoid falling into.
And therefore, my friend argues, if you’re going to coach and do so responsibly, you may as well have therapy training under your belt, so that you may properly handle that largely inevitable situation of your coaching bleeding on into therapy territory. The implication is that one may be playing with fire and out of one’s depth to coach when lacking that training.
Like I said, she made an elegant argument. Practically self-evident for anyone who’s racked up any moderate amount of coaching hours and thereby experienced those matters of psychology arise oh so naturally.
I think we can agree that there is rather porous barrier between the two professions. That yes, if we’re talking with another human being to support them in being the most empowered that they can be, their humanity in all its (sometimes messy) glory is going to be right there, inextricably along for the ride.
So yes, by that fact one could argue one will inevitably be called to perform de facto talk therapy in the course of coaching, and therefore one perhaps ought to be accordingly trained.
But there’s another way.
Rather than round the porousness of that barrier down to its practical non-existence, it could instead signify an imperative to maintain a clear boundary between coaching and therapy, a strict directive to NOT slide down into therapy when coaching.
How?
The specific tactics are topics unto themselves, for another missive. But broadly this can be filed under Knowing is Half the Battle™. You know how it sounds when a coaching call is treading into therapy territory. It’s inwardly focused and past-based, rather than engaging with questions like “What are you creating?” and “What are you committed to now?” Gently steer things away from dangerously tempting rumination conversations and toward those forward-looking questions and you’ll have kept on the coaching side of the fence.
Coaching does naturally bleed into therapy, in practice, but it certainly doesn’t need to.
Keeping those structures of intentions, targets, execution and measuring front and center are what keeps your coaching coaching.
