There’s a certain allure to starting off a coaching session with an open-ended question, like:
“So what do you want to talk about today?” or
“What are you working on now that you’d like my help with?”
If this is how you start your sessions, ask yourself, “Why?”
On the surface, this is a warm invitation that lets your client call the shot and spend time on whatever they wish, a can’t-miss way to meet that client exactly where they are at. Good customer service!
Only it’s not.
If you’re a friend for hire, that’s a great lead in. Or if you’re a therapist without any overarching direction or goal, rockin’ the “indefinite” plan? Fine.
But you’re a coach. You’re in the business of producing results. And as most coaches will be quite quick to tell you by way of disclaimer, producing the big results one wants in life takes time. Certainly more than one session.
Because they take more than one session, there’s an arc of progress that’s always in play once you’re past initial discovery. Sessions are always in the context of what client is out to achieve: what’s the goal, what are the challenges, what’s the game plan, what’s newly done, what’s next to come, what’s worked and what hasn’t. Coach’s job is to keep that all present, to mindfully manage that client is focused on whatever they said matters, and aware of the pertinent broader picture.
Being a blank slate throws all of that away.
Instead of presenting an agenda, it’s asking for one. It puts the onus on the client to generate, subject to whatever whims in the moment. Totally fine if they’re always empowered and clear-headed in the moment, but problematic otherwise (and if they’re already always empowered and clear-headed, they don’t need you).
Coach setting the agenda? Maybe that sounds alarm bells for you; there are schools of thought that explicitly forbid coach having an agenda. I don’t care: I’m not sharing this as an authority on coaching, I’m sharing this is as one who craves effective coaching.
Let’s clarify, and in doing so get out of running afoul of any of the “rules” of coaching (probably): I’m not saying coach should willy-nilly set their own agenda, I’m saying coach should craft an agenda based on their insightful listening and awareness of the arc-to-date, one that serves whatever the client is ultimately working towards.
Specifically, this will contain some or all of the following:
- Re-presence the big picture of what this working relationship is all in service of
- Check in on measurable results since last time
- Take stock of what got done and what didn’t since last time
- Acknowledge and celebrate whatever progress
- Complete any upsets or disempowering contexts
- Create what’s next to move forward
It needn’t be so contrived like some recipe or checklist to be followed; in fact the conversation should very much be a dance. But those elements should all be present in one form or another.
As well, this in no way preempts you giving space for client to share (and give airtime to) whatever is on their mind. It’s just that now, that will be inside of you having demonstrated awareness of where your client is at. This provides a palpably caring listening that is quite inviting to speak into, and helps mightily to focus their response to such an otherwise open-ended prompt.
That’s good customer service.
