Here’s a hypothetical. Say us clients are working on something. Something important, something that’s stretching us, something we likely wouldn’t be undertaking outside of our coaching relationship with you. Or perhaps we would be, but by its important and stretching nature, really want your support to help us do it as powerfully as we can. To hold us to account, to help us shake it off when we feel daunted, to remind us why it’s worth the fight at all.
Of course, this hypothetical isn’t hypothetical at all. If our relationship with you is action oriented rather than regular inward rumination, our working on something important (with benefit of your support) will be the norm. From lofty aims of composing a magnum opus, to more mundane efforts of putting oneself out there in pursuit of a relationship, we are always working on something meaningful. And you have a front row seat.
This theme is the backdrop for yet another watershed opportunity for you to provide (or not provide) value as a coach: earnest feedback on our efforts.
Now I know what you’re thinking: of course you provide earnest feedback on our efforts, that you naturally do so in the course of coaching calls, by listening to us and reacting appropriately.
That is not what I’m talking about.
I’m talking about feedback on the creative works themselves, not whatever we happen to mention about them in our calls. Doing the latter is easy: you can just show up as a blank slate for our calls and dance, however expertly, with whatever we say. To provide the former is reasonably easy as well, but it’ll take two things.
One, you’d need to proactively say something like “Hey, I get that this is really important to you, and I’d love to see how it’s unfolding. Can you point me to where I can read/watch/experience/check out your work?” For that magnum opus, that’s something like sending you a draft chapter. For putting oneself out there, that’s giving you a peek at what we’re actually putting out there, like maybe a dating profile or a message we’re sending. In all cases it’s you asking us to show you our work, intoning your earnest interest by doing so. You simply have to ask. It’s easy to do, but also easier to skip or assume your interest can be assumed.
The second thing giving such feedback with require is that you’d have to take a beat to steep yourself in that work. To actually read/watch/experience/check out whatever it is we’ve been working on. Maybe you balk at the notion of being on the hook to do that outside of the billable coaching hours. If so, you can do it during the call. You can say, “Do you mind if I take 5 minutes to give this a proper look right now?” We will more than likely be an enthusiastic “yes”.
Why?
Here’s why. Here’s what you need to know as our coach.
We’re doing something that’s stretching us. It’s often a little scary. It may have us being a little vulnerable. We’re dying to know how it lands, especially in the early stages. We’re dying to have some authentic feedback from someone who’s taken the time to care, and who knows the bigger picture of what we’re trying to accomplish. Someone we trust; more specifically that means someone who’s rooting for us but isn’t a sycophantic yes-man.
You, as our coach, are uniquely situated for this. You’ve been tracking with the arc of our progress. You are keenly aware of what matters to us, where our priorities lie and what values we hold dear. This means feedback you give on our creative output can be deeply insightful. You have this context about us, which makes your feedback more valuable than it would otherwise be coming from nearly anyone else.
You might think we can take your interest in checking out our work and giving feedback for granted, but we can’t. We have no idea if it’s in bounds to ask you to take (potentially) extra time to look at our stuff. We don’t even know if you’d be interested. Even when it would be an ostensible no-brainer. I once worked with a coach around my operation of CoachAccountable itself, for months. To steep themselves in the subject matter at hand, they got an account, logged in once, and clicked around for seven minutes. Seven. I was too polite to mention what seemed like a real disconnect. After all, it was their show, their dojo I was stepping into.
So, what’s your policy? Are you willing to take time to be with our creative works, and take time further still to thoughtfully give feedback around it? Even when it might be awkward, if say, honesty would require that you call out that perhaps our baby’s ugly? Do you inquire as to whether we’d appreciate that? Do we have permission to ask that of you?
Again, for your position as our coach, your feedback on our work is uncommonly valuable. If you’re willing to give it, please make that clear to us. Don’t let the ambiguity of the situation devolve into the illusion that it’s not on offer. Let us know that you’re willing to take time and thoughtfully comment on whatever it is we’re creating and do so from a supportive yet grounded place. Good, bad and indifferent. We’ll love and appreciate you for it.
CoachAccountable also has places for clients to share written work with coach, either pasted in from the outside or composed from the inside, in the form of Whiteboards and Journal Entries.
These are all avenues that make it easy for clients to share their work with coach, and all of them admit comment threads back and forth for the sake of feedback on the item at hand.
So you can let your clients know: got something to share, something you’d like my feedback on? Just share it with me in one of those ways, and I’ll do so.
Elegant. Intentional. You get to actually show yourself off as a genuine clearing for that sort of sharing and feedback, and it shows that it’s no accident.
